Shoulda Known It Was My Fault..?
Question by Langaan: Shoulda known it was my fault..?
In summary, my wife is bipolar and as of the last 4 years has developed an extreme gambling addiction. She cannot stand to be around me and teh kids, and she claims going to the casino is how she “gets away”.
lastnight she came home from casino and had a melt down… after about an hour of calming her down (she just kept sobbing and sobbing), she said she feels like she is spralling out of control. (not the first time she has said this)
so I try my best to get her to talk about her feelings, and she has teh nerve to tell me she has been feeling so angry lately because of me and the kids.
apparently, even though i support the family 100% financially, and all her income goes to the casino, apparently she is just soooo upset because when she is at home I am not cleaning. she said ” i know you help out alot, but it just seems like when I am home you dont help”
sooo, i work 5-6 days a week, and 3 days a week I go straight from work to my sons hockey. on the weekends i am home cleainign and hanging with the kids while she is out with friends or gambling.
so who cares about teh lying, gambling, neglection of and yelling at kids, how dare I not clean when she is home???
oh, did i mention she was at teh casino with a 2500 dollar loan she secretly got 2 days earlier.
how is it that i suck all this in, and then when she melts down, i am thinking “wow maybe she is going to come around and…” but before I know it I am being told my part in the problem? no mention of the 40 grand plus shes lost, no mention of the lies, no mention of the fact that I spend all my time with teh kids and she makes it sound like a chore….. all this and I am supposed to what… clean up MY behaviour?
un-f’n-beleivable.
has anyone lived through this and seen light at the end of the tunnell?
– yes she has been diagnosed. she doesn’t really put any effort into getting better though, she has meltdowns, gambles away etc… other than that she puts a smile on her face around her friends and takes it off at home.
been to marriage counselling, she just sits there shaking her leg waiting to get out of the seesion so she can tell me how screwed up the counsellor is.
im just tired of trying to meet her ridiculous needs, but then comming to realize there are consequences to not meeting them regardless of whther its right or wrong…. its like i have 2 bad choices and keep picking both
easy to say cut my losses, but in reality she won’t leave. Which means I have to leave and either leave kids with her or put them through a mess.
Best answer:
Answer by TreyMacG
Time for marriage counseling and fast!!!
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