Does Adoption Agencies Tell the Natural Mother How Society Feels About Natural Mothers?
Question by parenting is an option II: Does adoption agencies tell the natural mother how society feels about natural mothers?
Or do agencies only feed the natural mother how she is selfless and doing a great thing?
Do agencies counsel about how a relinquishing mother will feel?
What does an agency counsel these women on?
What goes through a natural mothers head? Pity for the adoptive parents? Scared of responsibility? Pressure?
Why would anybody want to pressure a woman to relinquish?
Best answer:
Answer by cantstopLinnyG
Agencies only feed the natural mother how she is selfless and doing a great thing. Yup. They also tell her she will “forget” about her child, and that she is doing the best thing for her baby.
http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/adoption_coercion.html
Agencies would NEVER tell a first Mom what she and her child will go through. If they did, NO woman would EVER relinquish a child again.
An agency who gives “counsel” to a first Mom is like a child sex offender having a sleep over for boy scouts. It’s predatory, and immoral, plain and simple.
Confusion goes through a Mother’s head. When there is coercion going on such as pre-birth matching or “counseling” from the agency, it makes her even more confused, and more pressured to do what OTHERS think is the best for her.
Why would anybody want to pressure a woman to relinquish? Umm, cash. Plain and simple. Adoption is a billion dollar a year industry. Newborns= mass amounts of money.
***ETA*** for Mandy.
You wrote: “I gave the gift of a child to a wonderful, loving couple who were unable to conceive a child of their own. I knew that when my child was born, I would not be able to give him the life he deserved. I also knew that my decision held very difficult consequences that I would have to work through on my own. It was not the responsibility of the adoption agency to counsel me”
Wow. As an adoptee, I believe I deserved my Mother. I didn’t want “things”, I wanted HER. Yes, there are “consequences” you would have to work out through your own, but what about your child? How disrespectful.
“Adoption is different now than it was twenty years ago. Perspective adoptive families are subject to much more now than years ago”. Are you KIDDING me??? Babies go to the highest bidder. Period.
“I felt no pity for anyone.” It looks to me like you did. Saying things like, “I gave the gift of a child to a wonderful, loving couple who were unable to conceive a child of their own.” EXCUSE ME??? Adoptees are NOT gifts. We are human beings who are hurt from the premature disruption of the mother- child bond. “Gift” is a perfect example of an agency line, one they use to coerce.
“And the decision to place my baby in the hands of a more able family was all my own. Adoption can be a wonderful thing and any woman who is strong enough to give their child a chance at a better life should be commended.”
“More able family???” Another example of buying into the agency lies. If you were not a drug user, and you did not abuse your son, NO one is more “able” or “deserving” to raise him than you.
My heart breaks when I read stuff like this. You really have NO clue, do you? Adoption does NOT always give a child a better life, only a different one.
Please get some help. Your son WILL want to know you some day, and not just through letters and pictures sent through his adoptive parents. You’ll hurt him if you call him a gift.
http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/adoption_coercion.html
http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org
http://www.amfor.net/acs
http://www.origins-usa.org
http://www.babyscoopera.com
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/the_primal_w…
http://www.thegirlswhowentaway.com/
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