My Niece’s Mom Needs to Get Productive?
Question by Melissa: My niece’s mom needs to get productive?
Here’s the skinny. My niece is two months old. Her mother is a young mom 19 and her father (my half) brother 21 is in jail. My brother will probably be in jail for the next two years because of his inappropriate actions towards his ex. He broke into her house 3 times and stole her ADHD meds and a laptop. He has a drug addiction.
Anyways, I’m trying to be a good aunt. I really feel for my niece. I know what her life is going to be like since I was in her shoes. I didn’t meet my dad til I turned 21 because he had his rights taken away for beating my mom while she was pregnant with me. He was also a drug addict and took about 10 years to get sober.
In the past two months I have given $ 500 cash. Lots of diapers and wipes. Have been seeing my niece at least once a week (I live 40 miles away) and have taken her for the night. I’m feeling frustrated because her mom called me yesterday and said she ran out of diapers. Mind you I just gave her $ 200 4 days ago! I know some of that money when to fix her moms van but really…no diapers??? My niece’s maternal grandmother is a workhorse. I feel for this woman. She works a crappy job and has to support my niece and her 5 children.
I’ve asked my niece’s mom to apply for cash aid and get her butt back in school. She doesn’t have a GED/Diploma yet. I told her I would pay any test taking costs. She still hasn’t done anything. Oh but she does have a new BF who thinks he’s better than my brother because he has a job working fast food. Hate to break it to him but he’s still a college drop out (like my brother), still has shaggy hair (like my brother), no car….lives at home with his parents…the only difference between him and my brother is the jail and addiction. I’m sure he smokes put but he’s not into anything else. Any suggestions on how to get her off her behind? I feel upset that she’s more concerned about her BF coming over than getting an education. I’m hate feeling this worried about my niece. It really turns my stomach. To remedy the diaper situation I left work in the middle of the day and drove all the way over there just to drop off a couple packages of diapers. Because if she was out then one package obviously won’t last long.
Best answer:
Answer by ahnikarose
Hi Melissa,
You are a good person. And so is your maternal grandmother.
Unfortunately your situation is like so many others. You try to be a good person and someone is out there taking advantage of you.
I would never offer money – NEVER. Diapers is one thing (and they are not cheap), but you really never know where the money is going. (In your case you probably do.)
The other unfortunate thing is – “some people you just can’t help”. I mean when it comes to getting them to do the right thing.
And I’m sure forwarding her education would help down the road, but what she should do right now is get a job, even if it is a “crappy” one.
As you say, she is more into her new boyfriend than “improving” her situation.
You can only do what you can do. I’m sure you thought about trying to get your niece so you can take care of her? But a 2-month old would be a lot to handle since you have to work.
Wow, just do the best you can.
Maybe one day your sister-in-law will get her act together.
We can only hope.
I admire you for what you are doing to help. Good luck.
.
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